He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
