Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
