My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize