***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
