she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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