we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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