on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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