i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
