people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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