i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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