You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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