He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
