he wants to bone in the snuggie
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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