Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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