Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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