420 ftw
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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