I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize