yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
