just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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