Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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