You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
