what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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