i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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