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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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• (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ooooh. Get funfetti

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.

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• (518): View more from New York

  woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.

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