But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
