that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dignity is for republicans.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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