so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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