Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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