so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize