lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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