i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
