he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
