Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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