at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
