I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
