Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just blew my weed a kiss
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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