I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
