the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
