from now on my penis is your penis
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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