I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
