i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize