This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He is an equal opportunity slut.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
