nut hugger
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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