I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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