Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
