we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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