Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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