He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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