Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
