somebody snuck up and got me drunk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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