you guys were way drunker than both of me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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