Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
