drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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