so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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