You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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