you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
