Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
