So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
