NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I will be naked everywhere
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
