But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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