Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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